Malaysian Chinese Wedding

In Chinese culture, wedding is considered a joining of two families, thus once the bride and groom decide to get married, both families get involved.

On the day of the betrothal, "grand gift" is presented by the groom's family to the bride's family. This is a formal occasion where where the two families officially acknowledge the marriage and give their blessing. The proposal gifts usually include token money wrapped in red envelope and items such as tea, "double happiness cake", pair of male and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine and tobacco. The token money is usually $99 or $999 as the number NINE represents "forever" in Chinese culture. Tea is included as an important part of the gift because the two families wish the new couple to have as many descendants as the tea leaves. The total items of gifts should be even number.

The bride's family will distribute the "double happiness cake" to relatives and friends as a form of announcement. Nowadays, both families send "double happiness cakes" along with wedding invitations. At this point, the two families will proceed to prepare for the wedding.




Chinese Wedding Dowry List

Bride's dowry is mainly interior ornaments or daily necessities. Of course, wealthy parents always have the option of throwing in some real estate or couple of servant girls...

1. 24-carat gold jewelries;
2. 1 pair of chopsticks to indicate "fast son";
3. 2 bowls tied up with red string which is called "sons and grandsons bowls";
4. toilet kettle;
5. bed spread and pillows and quilt embroidered with dragon-phoenix design;
6. scissors and ruler; wallet and belt,
7. sliced candy;
8. tea sets including tea pot, tea cups and tea tray;
9. clothe wrapped together with cypress leaves,
10. lotus seeds,
11. lucky money (Li Shi),
12. dried fruit such as dragon eyes.

In the morning of the wedding day, "hair dressing" ritual is performed for the bride. A "good luck woman", woman with living parents, spouse and children, will come to help dressing up the bride's hair. The woman should also speak auspicious words while tying up her hair in a bun, a style of married woman.
Capping Ritual for the Groom

"Capping" ritual for the groom is performed at the groom's home, where father of the groom place a hat decorated with cypress leaves on the groom's head.

The groom will bring the bridal sedan chair, a equivalent of a limousine nowadays, and a group of relatives and friends to go to fetch the bride.

Chinese Wedding Door Game

Door game originated from ancient time which implies that the bride is a lovely girl and her family and friends do not want to marry her away. The groom will be blocked at the bride's door, and her friends will try to stop him from entering by asking questions about the bride, a way to test if he really cares about her. They may also do other tricks to delay the bride's leaving. The groom will try to buy his way in by presenting "Li Shi", token money wrapped in red envelops. The entire "bargain" process is joyous and good-natured.

#1: Well, apart from 2 that I hear a lot about (the egg up/down the pants leg, and the blindfolded groom having to kiss women - or men) here's a "nice" (non humiliating) one: Get a sheet and cut a hole in it. The groom stands on one side of the sheet and several women on the other. The women all put a hand through the hole and the groom has to guess which one is his bride's.

#2: One that I heard about is a spinoff of the blindfolded kissing: make a necklace of cherries and put it on the bride. The blindfolded groom has to eat the cherries off.

#3: Another one is to seat the bride and groom with their backs to each other so they can't see each other. Then they are posed with a set of yes-no questions to which they should either nod or shake their heads. The questions are things like "Are you going to be the boss of the household?", "You're going to make your spouse take out the trash, right?" Seeing them both nod yes, or both shake their heads, is very funny!

The night of the wedding, the bridal room will lit dragon and phoenix candle to drive away the evil spirit, the newlyweds will drink wine from two cups tied together with a red string, arms crossed from each other. This is the formal wedding vow in Chinese culture. Then the bride will be offered dumplings that's boiled half-raw. The pronunciation of "raw" is the same as giving birth to children, a indication of family prosperity.

Many rituals and customs have been lost or amended over thousands of years of civilization. However, the reciprocal gift-giving etiquette is well preserved as a cultural icon...

The newlyweds will visit the bride's parent's three days after the wedding. They will bring certain gifts, and the bride's family is supposed to return part of the gifts, plus some gifts from them.

List of Gifts from Bride's Family on 3-day Visit:
1. The head and tail plus feet and half of the roast pig brought by the groom. It indicates there is a beginning and end.
2. Liquor one bottle, any style of cake one box.
3. Fruit and Sheng Cai, a vegetable that has the pronunciation of "lively".
4. Bamboo stick to indicate raising up step after step.
5. Green onion which pronounces as "Cong", the same pronunciation as "plentiful" financially.
6. Baby chicken in lantern box.

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